Musk Bails on Doge as Tesla profits plunge

Elon Musk, Tesla’s meme-lord-in-chief, is slashing his role at the Department for Government Efficiency (Doge) after Tesla’s profits tanked 70% and sales dropped 20%. Apparently, playing Trump’s efficiency czar while running a car company is harder than tweeting about Dogecoin. Musk says he’ll cut Doge to one or two days a week to “focus on Tesla,” which is bleeding value faster than a Cybertruck’s battery in a snowstorm.

Musk’s political side gig, bankrolled by a $250 million Trump campaign donation, sparked global Tesla boycotts. Add Trump’s China tariffs hiking costs for Tesla’s parts, and it’s a recipe for disaster. Musk insists Tesla’s localized supply chains soften the blow, but with shares down 37% this year, investors aren’t buying it. He even called Trump’s trade adviser Peter Navarro a “moron” for dissing Tesla’s manufacturing cred. Popcorn, anyone?

Tesla’s banking on AI to save the day, but analyst Dan Coatsworth says competition and trade wars spell trouble. Musk swears he won’t ditch Doge entirely—“it’s critical,” he claims, and Trump wants him forever. But with his 130-day government employee limit looming, Elon’s got to choose: save Tesla or keep playing government guru. Either way, the internet’s meme machine is in overdrive.